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Matt Stockman Blog

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 January 4, 2007

WOW, it's been WAY too long since I've blogged!! Sorry for the canyon like delay. It's 2007 now, and as amazing as the holidays were, and as wonderful as the visit with family was, I'm glad it's over. Unfortunately, with the ushering in of the new year, illness has entered the Stockman compound, most recently taking up residence in my head. As I type, I'm constantly dabbing my eyes, wiping my nose, and sniffling... a person sneaking a glance into my office would see me and think I was writing a heart wrenching romance novel! It's gotten so bad that last night at church, as I sat and listened to my pastor's teaching, I was constantly reaching for the Kleenex, and trying to stop the flow from my nose. I'm pretty convinced that my pastor, seeing that out of the corner of his eye, thinks that I was strongly convicted by his teaching and moved to tears... Don't tell him it was just my hyperactive sinuses!

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August 23, 2006
Where has August gone???  I looked down at my calendar today and about had a fit.  I know you are probably busy getting your kids back to school....and wondering how in the world they have grown up so fast!!! :)  My nephew in Hickory is driving to school this year...which is just about to freak me out. (If you are on I-40 and you see a white truck headed your way...hit the ditch!!! 
Just kidding, Matt :)

In the midst of the daily grind...remember to appreciate the little things.  God seems to be teaching me that in a big way this year!!! You will catch me taking more walks in the park...jumping in more mud puddles...and enjoying the company of good friends...more than I have in the past.  I hope you will do the same!!!

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July 20, 2006
Last weekend, the World Cup ended in an international blaze of glory and controversy as Italy defeated France in penalty kicks. My wife and I were hooked on the whole tournament, and tried to see as much of every match as we could… I think we were the only 2 fans in western North Carolina.

 I’ve included a couple of pictures of some World Cup fans… In America, when we attend a sporting event, most of us will go as far as wearing your teams colors, or perhaps a team jersey or cap. The really crazy diehard fans are the ones that will strip down to next to nothing, spray paint themselves in their teams colors, wear silly hats and costumes. etc., to get some attention and show their support. They’re the ones that end up on TV during the game.  The average Carolina Panthers game might have 100 or so of these “nutball” diehard fans.

Not so at the World Cup… As exciting as the sense of nationalism and friendly but fierce competition not just between teams but entire nations is, equally exciting is the devotion of each teams fans. Average attendance at a World Cup match was between 40,000 and 60,000. Here at least ½ to 2/3 of the crowd was “totally decked out” out for their team… faces painted, completely dressed in national colors, wild hair… totally sold out to their team.

When you look at these wild fan photographs, if you can recall anything about the Flags of the World assignment in 7th grade Geography, you can see at a glance who they’re “for”… who “their” team is.  There’s no question

where these fans are from and who they’d like to see win- in other words, “who they stand for”.

Shouldn’t we as Christians be the same way? Not with the body paint, etc.. but in the way that we talk, act, think, our attitudes, everything… people who look at us should be able to see with a quick glance into our lives who we’re “for”… Do others know that we’re diehard fans of Christ?

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July 18, 2006
I have a reason to celebrate! I guess as one of God's kids, I always have a reason to celebrate, but occasionally God meets a need, answers a  prayer, creates a beautiful sunset, etc.. that reminds us in Technicolor just how awesome and mighty He is, and how worthy of celebration His movements are in our lives.

I've been praying about a particular need in my life for about 2 years. In those 2 years, I've prayed every which way I knew possible, I studied the Scripture, I waited silently hoping to hear His audible voice, I sought the counsel of my mentors, I even read books on prayer- (thinking that since He wasn't answering, I must not be asking the right way). After all that- 2 years- nothing. No still small voice, no moving mountains, no rainbow in the sky, no pot of gold, nothing. Maybe you've been there before, or perhaps you're there right now.

There's good news. You see, during the last 2 years of hoping and wondering, every few weeks, I would be convinced that this particular need was so great that I HAD to have His intervention right then, or life as I was convinced I knew it would be over.  Yet, He remained silent, and somehow I managed, primarily because I was controlling it, manipulating it, while I was also praying that He would intervene. Well this week, I finally said "enough." I told God that I was too tired and frustrated and mad and hurt, etc. to even care about this situation anymore, and that I was not carrying this burden another hour.  By the end of that day, He had answered my request in such a way that I would have NEVER anticipated. Two years of nerve wrenching prayer and burden carrying, over. simply because I finally got angry about dragging my own burdens around behind me like a cinder block tied to my ankle, and let God do what He does best. be God. Answer prayers, mend hearts, meet needs, run the world. you know, God stuff.

So today, if you've worn holes in the knees of your jeans, and God is not meeting the need in your life. never fear. The rescue of Jesus is coming. You might want to check to see if you've got a cinder block or two tied around your ankle. If so, unloose them, and surrender your heart, mind, attitudes, schemes, plots, and all the other scenarios you've created in your mind on what you'll do if He doesn't come through at His feet, and then step back, and relax. Let God be God. He's much better at it than you are. 

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June 20, 2006
Yesterday it was Father’s Day, and so I spent a bit of time catching up with my dad on the phone- He and my mom have lived outside of Chicago, Illinois their whole life. As we reconnected, our conversation moved toward my Grandparents old house, located in tiny Sister Lakes, Mich. “The cottage” as it was affectionately called by our family, has been empty for a few years now, since my grandmother passed away. My dad and his sister decided recently to sell it… both live just far enough away that it would make it difficult to visit regularly and keep up the maintenance.

I must admit, that when I first heard of their plans to sell, I was a bit frustrated. How could they get rid of the summer home they grew up in, the home their father (my grandfather) built in the 20’s with his own hands!?!? After all, this is the place we stayed on my first ice fishing trip… the place where I learned to shoot a basketball on the old street hoop- the place where I spent weeks during the summer sleeping on the old couch on the porch?? The yard I played catch with my grandfather, and the rocker where I joined him on his lap to be tickled to the point of near laughing hysteria? The late night games of cribbage and listening to grandpa recount his favorite old camp songs and poems?

As I thought it through more, it finally struck me, the thing that I don’t want to turn loose of is not the place at all, but all the memories that are attached to that place. In many ways I grew up there just as much as I did in our own home, learned the values, morals and principles of our family, and experienced the unconditional love and grace of my grandparents in that home.

 During our conversation, Dad and I discussed many of the items from the home that now belong to me… Some furniture, knick knacks, items big and small, all with a story, a memory attached. They’re in storage now, but I’ve got to get up there soon to bring those items home, to relive the memories, to share those moments with my family.

The one item from that old place that I was thrilled to hear was preserved? A door frame, from one of the tiny bedrooms in that cottage… On that door frame, are the markings of the respective heights of all of the Stockman kids and grandkids, beginning with my dad at age 1 in 1943. Every trip to the cottage meant another measurement on the door frame. That door frame is a story in itself of how my dad and his two sisters, and I and my cousins were so profoundly influenced by Howie and Jane Stockman. Over the years, we all stood in the same place to see how much we’d grown, and it was in the life we lived between the marks, that because of their love and guidance we all learned what family was. 

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May 10, 2006
The countdown is on to the opening of “The DaVinci Code” this movie starring Tom Hanks that’s based on Dan Brown’s novel of the same name. I’ve not read the book, so I can’t speak in too much detail about it’s contents. From what I’ve heard, the book claims several falsehoods about Christ and how he lived as fact. Some Christians are concerned that “seekers” will see this film, and through the lure of the big screen and great production, be duped into believing these falsehoods as truth.  While I think that there are a few misguided folks in this world that go to a movie and believe that everything they see is true and historically correct, I am convinced that the vast majority of citizens today possess the intelligence to view a movie as a form of entertainment, recognizing the fact that because it’s on the silver screen doesn’t guarantee fact.  One of my favorite movies of all time is “Field Of Dreams”. This wonderful baseball fantasy story includes several real life old time ball players, and relies at times on the history of baseball in the weaving of the story… and yet, to date, I’ve never met anyone who really believes there’s a ballpark in an Iowa cornfield where the ghosts of old ball players come out of the corn for a pick up game. Seeing “Field Of Dreams” did cause me to read two books on the Shoeless Joe Jackson/Black Sox controversy of the early 1900’s, to find out what the real story was.

Others in the Christian community have called for the church to boycott this film. I have to go out on a limb here and say that I’m just not sure that boycotts work, simply because we don’t have to go to the movies to begin with.  Saying publicly that “I’m not going to see that movie!”, when there’s a good chance that I won’t go to any movie this weekend… really says nothing to Hollywood and just makes the Christian community sound judgmental and whiny. A better choice for us would be to go to the movies the weekend that “The DaVinci Code” comes out, and see some other movie, whatever the family friendly favorite choice that weekend is. Make that family friendly alternative the blockbuster at the box office that weekend. Hollywood notices a long string of 000000.00 on the end of things.  After all, the trend toward films with spiritual content has been completely fueled by the fact that “Passion Of The Christ” is the best selling R rated movie of all time (think about that… the Christian community solely responsible for vaulting an R rated movie to the top of the R rated movie heap!?!?! Further proof that God does have a sense of humor! And a topic for another blog!)

I won’t be seeing “The Davinci Code”… but I know people who will. People who aren’t too solid spiritually, and who will have questions, and will want to know where to find the answers. You and I need to be ready to engage them, and to show them the path to the real truth of Jesus, and to point them to the book to pick up to get the real story. Are you ready?

Matt

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May 3, 2006
A Backstreet Boy on the morning show? 

Late last week I got a phone call from a friend in Nashville offering to set up an interview for me with a artist who’s relatively new to the Christian music industry, but not a newcomer to music… Brian Littrell. (If you’re saying to yourself “I must be getting old…” because you don’t recognize that name that’s okay.,.) Since 1993, Brian has been one of the members of the pop supergroup Backstreet Boys. We talked about it briefly here at the station, and then jumped at the opportunity, which I am very glad we did.  

A bit of background… Brian was on scholarship to Cincinnati B ible College when his cousin Kevin called him to join BSB. He moved to Orlando and learned to dance, and the rest is history… Jump ahead to today, through millions of fans worldwide and 76 million albums sold, and Brian is doing what he always intended to do… Share the Gospel of Christ through music.  

I have to admit, I was skeptical at first… but a few weeks back on a trip to Nashville, a mutual friend introduced us, and I had the occasion to talk to Brian about his faith, his vision and why he knows that God’s placed him here… and he’s the real deal. The thing that struck me about Brian is his humbleness… for a young man who’s been a part of a group that has FAR outsold any Christian artist in music history, he’s about as “regular guy” as they come.     

The CD (called Welcome Home) is good… very upfront and clear lyrically. Think about this… Of the umpteen millions of Backstreet Boys fans worldwide who have been waiting forever for a new BSB project to come out, how many will buy the new CD from one of the BSB members? A truckload will, and that same truckload will hear about the love of God and the hope of a relationship with Christ in Brian Littrell’s music… Pray for him, when the Backstreet Boys go back out on the road, Brian will have the opportunity during their shows to share his music, and the hope of Glory that lives inside him, just as he’s always intended to do.  

Til next time---
Matt

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April 25, 2006
Have you ever had "one of those days?" You know... you begin the day with the best of intentions, eager to accomplish all the things on your to-do list, and as the day goes on, it just feels like there are eerie forces of
nature doing everything possible to prevent you from not just failing to complete your to do list, but rather to prevent you from even starting your to do list.
 
I had "one of those days" this past weekend. Saturday was the day set aside to clean out the basement. It seemed as though it had been at least 12 years since it had been done, although we've only lived in this home 4 years, and I know it's been cleaned out a few times since we moved in! We got up early, and began to attack it with a vengeance... Things were going okay, until we noticed the sound of water running somewhere... somewhere we really shouldn't hear water running. We quickly discovered a rainstorm falling from the ceiling in my sons bedroom, because the toilet above his room began to back up on it's own! 45 minutes later, and with every clean towel in the house now soaked, we headed back to the basement... It had been raining on and off all day, and guess what? More water... seeping into the basement floor from a couple of leaky basement walls. Out comes the fans and the shop vac, and another hour goes by while we wrestle with the water. Then, to make matters even worse... (you didn't think it could get worse, did you?) Just as I finally get the last of the rain water sucked up with the shop vac, I picked it up to move it to the other side of the basement, when the latch on the top of the vacuum comes undone, the bottom falls to the floor, and all of the water I just sucked up (although now dirtier and nastier than it was to begin with) goes all over the floor, and furniture, etc.. WHAT A MESS!!!
 
Somehow I lived, and got all the water up, too... and we got the magic toilet fixed- It's days like these that make me never want to see another to-do list.
 
Til next time,
 
Matt

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April 21, 2006
Getting old?
It's been a crazy week at the Stockman family home… Our oldest son, Chase is home from college this week. He's attending a recording arts technical school in Orlando, Fl. called Full Sail. If all goes according to plan, he'll graduate in August. This school is a 1 year, super-intensive training environment where young, creative minds get the in depth knowledge and training from pros in the recording arts industry, to then get hired by recording studios and production houses around the world. Now, Chase was fairly knowledgeable about sound engineering, recording, etc.. before he left, but based on conversations we're having now… He's in a whole different league. He's throwing around big terms and techniques that make me feel very old and a bit "out of touch", since I have no clue what he's talking about. I can tell by talking to him that he truly knows what he's talking about, and he's not trying to use a bunch of $5 word to impress his father… At least I know he's been studying.

Secondly, something changed between the time he left and this trip to home to visit. References to Orlando being his home have begun to creep into his conversation. Talk of the new apartment he'll be moving into after graduating has been heard at our dinner table this week. He's spending time in prayer weighing job option A against job option B. All the while, my mind flashes back to our first trip to a real baseball  game and bike rides and superheroes and middle school dances and getting a drivers license, and I wonder where all the time has gone, and I begin to feel old. I'm proud and humbled, happy and sad, caught in the vacuum between our child growing up and being willing to admit that he's an adult, living his own life.  I'm struggling with having to feel all these emotions 4 more times before our nest is empty. I guess the grandkids will have begun to drift into our lives be then, and so our nest may never be really "empty".

Finally, Easter Sunday arrived, and we all attended--- What a fantastic celebration of the Risen Christ. And while the service and the message were tremendous, the overwhelming blessing to me was much smaller than the blessing of Christ burial and resurrection--- It was the blessing of enjoying worship with my wife and all 5 of my kids together… And it struck me that it might be a while before I was blessed that way again. I hope not, but it wouldn't surprise me. In the future, there will be occasions that we'll all gather together for worship as a family again, perhaps with daughter and sons in laws, maybe with grandkids, and the number of seats in the church our family will occupy will increase to the point that our pastor will name a whole section after us. Thinking about that makes getting old not so bad after all…   

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April 4 2006
The other day we invited some friends to our house for the evening… kind of a last minute deal. I have to be honest, I was only reluctantly on board with the whole plan… It was Sunday, and being the creature of habit that I am, I was looking forward to an afternoon nap and a relaxing time with the kids, and kinda… just doing nothing.  

Now, I don’t know what the promise of guests arriving at your home is like, but at ours, this news causes a state of panic throughout our humble abode.  The panic level is set by how well we know the people who are coming over… Those who we don’t know too well yet, and haven’t been to our place before—high panic!! People who we know so well they’re like family—low panic. College students—no panic. Panic can be compounded by a few factors… how bad the house looks, how much laundry there is, and how long til they arrive.  On this particular Sunday, the panic level was medium- these friends had been to our place one time before. The house was pretty “lived in”, but manageable, and we all set out to take care of our prospective areas… As we prepared for our friend’s arrival, we discovered a few items that we needed from the grocery store. We compiled a list, and I headed out to our local supermarket. Normally, as long as I have a list, I’m okay. But as I’m drifting through the store, I discover an item on my list that the store is out of… uh-oh. A quick call to the house to get some counsel from my wife on what to get instead, and problem solved. Then, on the next aisle over, same problem. Reluctantly, I call the house again, and get the solution from the kitchen boss. Two aisles past that… another item not in stock!! It’s at this point that the panic level elevated in my mind--- Do I make the 3rd call in less than 10 minutes, or do I skip it, get it at another store, try to replace it with something else close to it? What!?!?! Finally, in desperation, I called my wife one more time… When she answered, instead of her normal cheery “hello”, it was “what are they out of now?!?” Thankfully, we got it figured out, and $40 later, I was en route back home.  

The whole evening turned out great… Our families gathered to share a meal together, our children played the night away together, and the adults sat down for a mean game of “spoons”. (It’s a cut-throat game of cards, (not for the faint hearted) which at times has involved climbing on furniture, biting, scratching and mutilating flatware- You should try it sometime!)  

Later that evening, the normal parade of college students and younger single adults that think of our home as their second home drifted in to hang out. My former intern at WMIT, Peter Harvin, is leaving for a 3 month stint in Zambia with Overland Missions, and so this was our last opportunity to spend time together before he ships out.   We ended the evening as we often do when that crowd shows up, in a big circle in the living room, singing one worship song after another in an informal, but extremely reverent time of praise and celebration. It was a very intimate, personal time of worship and reflection. And in those final moments of that evening, as the singing died down after over an hour, God gently reminded me of how I originally wasn’t really all that excited about friends/folks “invading my space” that day.  Now, I’m glad they did. My new vow is to never go to bed in the evening regretting that I didn’t live all the life I could that day. I nearly made that mistake this past Sunday.  

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I wasn't raised in church… Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, my parents created a very loving home, and I was always surrounded by family and friends, although we did not attend church. As a teenager and college student, most things came fairly easy to me… grades, friends, scholarships, and musical and acting accomplishments.  Honestly, I probably coasted a good part of the way through college. I worked hard when I needed to, but often times I was able to excel without a tremendous amount of effort. This trend was setting me up for a terrible fall later in my life. The only person that I knew was a Christian during my high school/college years was a trumpet player friend named Scott Keithley. He never really tried to convert me, but I do remember him acting and speaking "differently" than the rest of us. Occasionally in college, I would gather as a part of the crowd around one of those loud-mouthed campus street preachers who seemed more interested in starting a shouting match than actually showing Jesus to people. I never listened much to either the street preachers words, or his opponents words, but really just marveled at the futility (and the volume) of the whole thing.

After college, I quickly entered the radio business… moving first to Morgantown WV, and then to Johnson City, TN. It was there that I met my bride to be, and through our dating, I was first introduced to the Gospel, at Sunnyside Baptist Church in Cooks Valley. I heard it, but I don't think I ever really listened. I was too busy falling in love at the time. Eventually we married, and we moved to Central Illinois for a short time, and then to Chattanooga, TN.. Life began to catch up to me, and one day, I got fired from the station I worked at, so the staff could make room for another employee's wife. It was the first time I felt like I had failed in my whole life, and I didn't handle it well. In the days that followed, I fell deep into sin, despair, and deceit, and nearly lost my family- eventually requiring medical attention. I had meticulously planned my own death, and a couple of days before I could carry it out (and I really believe that I would have done it) my wife found out about everything I had done, and the person I had turned into. Next came the long process of healing and overcoming clinical depression. Some weeks later, I went to a church service, and even though there were a few hundred people in attendance, when the speaker began, it was as though I was the only person in the room- the first words out of his mouth were, "today, we're gonna talk about depression…" I don't really even remember the rest of his talk, but at the end I surrendered myself to Jesus, and doing His will in my life.  

What an incredible journey it's been. Stops in Christian broadcasting in Chattanooga, TN., Lynchburg, VA., Nashville, TN., and now the mountains of Western North Carolina. The vision and beginning of our student ministry. A couple more kids along the way. Thankfully, God guides my steps every day I allow him to, and I'm convinced on so many levels that I'm right where He desires me to be now. Thanks for coming along for this portion of the journey with me.